Today in class, we reflected upon Heart of Darkness and how as Kurtz was lying on his death bed, his finals words were, "The horror, the horror!"
This got me thinking.
Kurtz is lingering on the edge of death when he says this. He has seen his entire life pass him by, and he is reflecting upon his many adventures, but most importantly his view on the world, and his connection with the native Africans. He has seen the horrors the "civilized" Europeans have put them through. What if he was yelling about the simple horror of life? Life has it's inevitable horrors; unreasonable evil is a constant in our world, but we just don't see it.
It always seems like the wisest people in the world are the ones that have experienced so much, most of the time, the old people. Their experiences allow them to see life from all different perspectives, which in turn helps them better understand what life is all about.
Is like "a horror?"
Absolutely. But it is also beautiful.
How can you say life is not a horror, when everyday we are surround by racism, sexism, and appalling crimes. We see it all the time, and in Kurtz situation, it was right in front of his face.
But then, there are the amazing miracles of life. There are the kind people that go out of their way to help others, those that dedicate their lives to being in the military, and even those who give even what little they have to a charity, or a person in need. And my favorite miracle, nature. Although Kurtz was constantly surrounded by horror, he was also in the presence of something absolutely breathtaking at the same time. He had the best of both worlds. Whenever something bad happens to me, and I feel like life isn't really on my side, I always run away. I run and run and run, and I always end up in the middle of the forest. Because nature, is the only thing that can calm me down. It is the most amazing of all things in the world. As humans, we started there and it is only natural that we feel comfortable in within nature.
Kurtz's saying has two sides to it. Could he have pointed out the horror of life, all the bad things he had seen? Or could he have simply been crying because he was leaving an amazing and unique life behind? His journey was, in my belief, cut short. I could only imagine the places he would have gone. But his last words, 4 simple words, can mean so much. And that is the beauty of the situation.
Kurtz's death itself is a horror, absolutely, but it is also beautiful because it is a journey, that many explorers afterwords can learn from, coming to a close.
