Metacognition: The Attic

It ain't my best work, but at least I did work.

But seriously. I tried, I really did, but I'll admit that my short story didn't exactly end up the way I wanted it to.

I am lucky enough to live in a family that is the complete opposite of the one in my story. My parents are happily married and almost never fight, I have a decent relationship with my Mom and Dad and I've never been to in my attic but I've heard it's really creepy. 

However, I do think of running away an awful lot. And because of this I tried to create a setting and plot that forced my main character to run away. I wanted to put her in an awful situation and make her realize that the only solution to her inner and outer turmoil was to run away.

Whenever I think of running away I think about how I was young, I would always put my stuffed animals, some money, and a shirt into a blanket, tied it together, throw it over my shoulder and set off down the street. And my older sisters would always run and catch me and bring me back home. Running away doesn't have to mean physically going away though, it can also mean mentally and emotionally sending yourself to another world. That's what music and sports do for me, they send me to another place with no people and no problems.

That is where the Attic came in. I could see it in my head. Auburn walls, a round window under a tilted roof, squeaky floors, lamps to create a warm light at night. I'd always wanted a little home like that for myself and so I created it for my character instead. She just needed a reason to go there.

So I gave her a reason. I gave her shitty parents, a little sister, and eternal anger at her situation. And a gun, but that comes a little later. And when you're a teenager like she is, and you want to leave your house so badly but have absolutely no way to do that, you find something else. Like an attic. 

Maybe the reason I am trying to hard to relate to my character but can't is because we have no similarities at all. My situation is most definitely not her situation. But, when she is in the attic, I know exactly how she is feeling. We are the same person, with the same needs. We want to leave and we want to leave now. The attic may seem like such a small part in my story but it the save haven, the place of peace, and my characters only true home.

And I tried hard to make that evident. And if it isn't evident than at least I tried. I'll admit this isn't my best work, but I needed to challenge myself and this was the only way I could. I've written enough stories and songs that I completely understand, and this time I wanted to be a bit lost, along with my readers. Jack White, one my favorite musicians, think the same way. He believes he has to defeat the music in order to make it sound good. I wanted to defeat my story, work against its tendencies and tame it, bring it in. Like Jack White would say, “I keep guitars that are, you know, the neck's a little bit bent and it's a little bit out of tune. I want to work and battle it and conquer it and make it express whatever attitude I have at that moment. I want it to be a struggle.”

Yea, Mr. Allen, it might not be my best work, but at least I tried. 

It Matters: The R Word

LOVE.

Otherwise known as the L-Bomb. Love, at least to teenagers, is something to be afraid of. I'll admit that I'm scared of the word myself. I do not particularly enjoy letting anyone play with my heart, if I even let them into it at first. Those 4 letters can be scary, especially when arranged in that particular order.

We've started exploring the idea of love recently in English. We started watching Once, one of my favorite movies EVER, and we are also reading Jane Eyre. Love is a topic that everyone in class has an opinion on, and we can barely get through a small discussion about it because everyone wants to chime in. The movie Once is an unusual love story, driven around music (FANTASTIC music). It is very interesting, and completely out of the ordinary. Both of the main characters are lonely, and enjoy the company of each other. As far as we've gotten in Jane Eyre, it is obvious that she is lonely as well. Jane is almost always locked up in the nursery with no one to care or love for her.

We also recently just finished learning about European imperialism in Africa in World History, along with reading Heart of Darkness in English. While learning about this, it seemed to me that a little love and compassion would really fix the entire situation. It seems juvenile, or maybe a bit too optimistic, but I'm serious. If you think about it, the Europeans were brutal towards the Africans, and did not care about them one bit. If that's not something humanity and kindness can't fix, than I don't know what is.

So what about it? We are constantly surrounded by love everyday, but why did I choose to pinpoint love in this blog?

It's simple. There seems to be an awfully large lack of love in the world today. Evil is everywhere, but I want to talk about something even more alarming than when something drops the L-Bomb with me. The R-Word.

It's the insult of all insults, telling someone they are retarded is a combination of saying they're stupid, annoying, empty headed, pointless, dumb, awkward, and unusual all in one.

And there is nothing more that I HATE than when someone uses the word retarded as an insult, as if it's no big deal, like it is completely normal. I cringe at the sound of it. I would prefer an number of curse words screamed very loudly than to hear the R-Word dropped carelessly.

And the use of this word is becoming more and more common. Lebron James called a reporter retarded under his breath here.  

Jennifer Aniston called herself a retard on Regis and Kelly here.

Dave Tosh, a comedian, casually used retarded in a joke here. 

I mean, is it really THAT funny?

Retarded has a meaning, and it's not a joking matter. The lack of love, compassion and understanding these people have for mentally retarded people is unbelievable to me. But just like the use of the R-Word has gone up, so has awareness that we shouldn't be using that word too. A huge movement called "The R-Word: Spread the Word to End the Word" is growing around the United States. To find out more you can visit www.r-word.org. 

LOVE. The L-Bomb. Does it make me nervous? Absolutely, but if people dropped L-Bombs as much as they dropped the R-Word, it would make this world a much better place. The world can never have enough love.